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Merry Christmas and Don’t Let Your Cheese Slide off your Cracker

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas to everyone who has been there during this very difficult year. Like many Americans, I both enjoy and dread the Holiday season.

It doesn’t help that Ray died in my arms this past Christmas Eve, nor that I gird my loins during the hustle and bustle of the season, but what does help is the true spirit of Christmas. On a happy note, the Florida Gators have had a winning season. I imagine Ray is behind this somehow – being The Main Gator and all.

Culture wars bring me down, especially during the Christmas season. Instead of caterwauling over Starbucks not having “Merry Christmas” emblazoned on a coffee cup, just bring your own reusable cup with whatever you want written on there. Baristas are very happy to fill your cup if you simply remove the lid.

Above all, please don’t let your cheese slide off your cracker. As a bona fide Florida Cracker, please allow me to explain.

During the sweltering summers in our single wide Marlette in the Wagon Wheel Trailer Park in Ocala, Florida, Mother would make us cold plates for supper. An assortment of raw vegetables, tuna salad, and cheeses were served. If you piled your Chicken in a Biscuit cracker too high with scallions, tuna, and cheese, then the cheese might slide off the cracker. This is one reason eating the tuna separate from the cheese remains the best idea. I would be so hungry from hustling on my trusty little Schwinn bicycle that I would pile my cracker too high, thus creating a catastrophe. Mother was always so patient and loving, admonishing me, “Don’t let your cheese slide off your cracker, Heidi.”

That’s great advice, Mom. Thank you. Often times, especially during the Holiday Season, we pile so much on our cracker that our cheese slides off our cracker.

When our brain separates from our body, we achieve a kundalini of sorts. Enlightenment comes after the nervous breakdown. However, it is much better to keep the brain united with the body and soul. In other words, don’t let your cheese slide off your cracker.

2019 will bring exciting things. Announcements to follow. In the meantime, please enjoy your family and friends this Holiday season. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and don’t let your cheese slide off your cracker.



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